Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
why cant orphan be gay because they have no one to call daddy
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Why did the orphan miss behave in school? Because the principle couldn't call there parents
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
