Call jokes
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What's an orphan family photo called?
Selfie.
What do you call a squad of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What do you call a door? A floor.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
What do you call 2 wings and a halo?
A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.