But jokes

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.

What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!

My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.

I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.

Why were the people in 911 devastated?

They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

A vampire goes to the bakery.

Vampire: "One bun, please."

Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"

Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."

Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.