Bus jokes
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Why did the bus cross the road?
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.