Building jokes
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
I saw twins. I’m just waiting for those planes.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>
Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.
What do you call a door hinge? A door hinge!
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.