Both jokes

When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?

They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.

What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?

They are both off the map.

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both love naughty souls.

What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.

What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?

They both ride on my dick.

What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?

Nothing, they are both just memories.

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.

What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?

They both have a hole in one.