Both jokes

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?

None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.

What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?

They're both full of child groomers.

What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?

They both live long with dry skin.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

What does a pencil and a plan have in common?

They were both in the Twin Towers.

Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.

What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.

An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.

Who hit the ground first?

The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?

Nothing, they both crashed.

What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.

What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?

We were both caused by broken rubber.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common?

They both hang from the tree.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

My Friend: What’s that?

Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

What do cake and baseball have in common?

Both need batters.