Boi jokes

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

“It’s really not your day, is it?”

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.

Boy: Knock knock.

Girl: ...Who's there?

Boy: Not your parents!

Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: ....ur parents.

What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?

A liar.

Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."

There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

The boy answered, "It's Michelle."

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."

Why did the boy get run over?

Sally was driving.

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.

She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"