You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
