Bike Jokes

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

How do you ride two bikes at once?

You ride them in tandem!

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

What do you call a lesbian on a bike?

A dyke...

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.

Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.

It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."

Why did Billy fall off his bike?

Because his dad threw a chair at him.

Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?

He had no legs.

How did Jesus kill himself?

He fell from his bike.

How many times did he die?

Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

Why can’t orphans ride bikes?

Because they don’t have parent supervision.

A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?

He doesn’t have legs.

I love riding my bike 🚲.

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.