Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Credit To: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTdZUCSiqNBBWzF398ab09Q
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Q: Where did sally go on her bike A: No where
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
