Biden

Biden Jokes

President

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

Putin

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

Everyone

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

President

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

Kid

"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."

- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)

Vote

If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.

Pedophile

Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"

Mom

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Time

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Plane

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Clock

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."