Your life is the best joke ever.
Best Jokes
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
Mum is the best!
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
