My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
mum is the best
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
