"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
The belt broke.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
