Being jokes

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my was kicked, let's be friends?

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.

But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.

And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?

Trying to fit in.

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?

I’m bone to be wild!

What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Not being retarded.

Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Your life.