Being jokes
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
They don’t have a closet to hide in.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
I want to be a pilot.
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”