Being jokes
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
I want to be a pilot.
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
Why can't LGBTQ+ members be straight? Because they are LGBTQ, they are losers.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”