Bear

Bear Jokes

Inch

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

Roll

Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Gummy bear

Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.

Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?

A: Delici-Oso

Man

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

Tummy

i keep asking explain bear to make me welcome since im new but why dont you

Two men are handling a pot in a basin. A close-up of a man's bulging belly is shown below. The text says: "I don't know what they cooking but that tummy looks happy as hell."

Bar

A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"

Man

Man: Knock, knock...

Boy: Who's there?

Man: Bear...

Boy: Bear who?

Man: Bear bottom.

Sister

My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"

Bar

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

Poop

So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

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  • Koala

    Why aren't koalas actual bears?

    Because they don't meet the koalafications.

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  • Gummy bear

    A B C D E F G.

    Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!

    Orphan

    We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.