Battery jokes

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

Battery 1%.

I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

Why did the MOSFET go to jail?

It had a charge for battery.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

Very funny battery joke.

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

My bum hurts.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?

Battery acid.

I got jealous when my phone died.

Emo: Phone die.

Emo: Why not me? ;(

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

I see what you did there.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!