What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
you.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
Yo mama so dumb, she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I have the power."
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
if my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship i would never be able to play my phone
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
