Battery jokes

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"

What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.

you.

Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.

Yo mama so dumb, she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I have the power."

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.