Baseball jokes
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they have no home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is!
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?
Because they ate the bases.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Why can’t Asians play baseball?
Because they can’t see the ball.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.