Baseball jokes
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
What can orphans not get when playing a sport?
A home run!
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?
Because they ate the bases.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.