Bars jokes

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"

An Irish guy walks out of a bar....

An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.

Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.

So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.

A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"