Bars jokes

An Irish guy walks out of a bar....

A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"

An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I suck at darts.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.

Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.

A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...

Handy Andy.

Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?

A: Flip the chair upside down.

What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?

A: Beers for Queers.

A man walked into a bar...

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a fart in a gay bar?

A mating call.

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."