Bars jokes

Mathematician

  • An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

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    Wife

  • Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

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    Emo

  • Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

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  • Bar

  • Also gehen Addison, Gwen und Bradley alle in eine Bar. Dann schreien sie alle an, sie sollen aufhören, Bier zu trinken, weil sie es nicht mögen. Dann schreien sie den Barkeeper an und sagen, er solle das Bier nicht verkaufen, weil sie es nicht mögen. Die Kunden lachen sie als Paviane aus.

    Was machen Addison, Gwen und Bradley? Sie kommen auf diese Seite und argumentieren, dass Witze zu gemein sind, und weil sie sie nicht mögen, stoppen sie jeden, der sie als WITZ macht. Das Ende.

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    Son

  • All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

    The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

    The man said, "My wife does!"

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  • CPR

  • I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

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    Nerd

  • Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.

    Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.

    Parrot

  • A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

    "Africa," the parrot replied.

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