Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
Bars Jokes
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one ducted.
