My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke...
A guy goes in to get some tests done, the doctor comes out and says "I got good news and bad news." The guy says "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says "The tests cam back positive, you got 2 weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin her."
Ligma
Balls
What does a human and a cat have in common, both takes my bed
Laugh.
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
what was Stephen Hawking's favourite song?
Deja Vu
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip off.
a man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm the bartender asks what he wants the man says i would like one beer for me and one for the rode
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
I ate some gunpowder once. It was a exploding experience.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They Lactose
A student got a bad lettered grade so the next day he came back with his own lettered grade in his backpack an A....... K47
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad( chicken Caesar salad )
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather? It gets toasty
