A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”
You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work...
He’s a suicide bomber.
Your hairline so far back it was in a different time zone on a flight with you
What is the difference between orphans dad and a boomerang?? Oh.....one comes back
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline cuz it goes way back
Your hairline so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back
I might have to back down on this. Cause it is usually aimed for little children.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already
Your hairline’s so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there
Why do jeans always compliment your booty?
Because they’ve got your BACK
I did this to my x I stole her wheal chair I new she would come crawling back
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back
Your hairline so far back I learned about it in history class
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
