Back Jokes

my mom once ate a full giant cheesecake and we were walking to our flight back home and she had to shat. we were walking to the bathroom and she full on in front of the caroulsel, she had a lump of poo in her pants... true story haha

And Sterling has taken a dive. That's all for financial news, back to the football.

boy hairline is always in the back of his head and it shape like the check mark

whats the difrence beteena golfer and a fisherman : a fisherman has to bring proof back

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already!

Kid: What is an orphans favorite breakfast? Teacher: What? Kid: Fruity pebble with water Teacher: Why water? Kid: Cause it's dad never came back with the milk

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk The dad finally came back with the milk

Whats the difference between your dad and grocery shopping he didn't come back with the milk

How do you make a dishwasher work again? Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First ignore them until they ask you if your going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them would they get on all fours and bark back? After that continue to ignore them.

High school crush: why do you always look so sad? Me: my mom is dead and my favorite grandma and my uncle killed both of them and now he's in jail. High school crush: shit. Sorry about that. Me: and my crush hasent asked me out. High school crush: who is it Me: you Him: goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back) Me: fuck that

me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...

There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said "me find food" and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian "me find food" he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said "me find food" he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop

A Chinese Drunk and a Jewish Drunk are sitting together on a park bench...

After finishing his drink the Jew takes his bottle and *smashes* it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" ask the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle, and *smashes* it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg.... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

Orphan finds genie

Orphan:my first wish is to be Rich

Genie: of course

Orphan:my second wish is to be famous

Genie:done

Orphan: I wish my parents can come back Genie: I told you I can't bring people back from the dead

One day little Jonnys is in class it is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid stand up." lIttle Jonny stood up. The teacher asked him why do you think you're stupid. Little Jonny said I don't think I am stupid. Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone.