My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
