Back jokes

Guy feels something on his back.

“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

Me: Hey, I’m your mom.

Orphan: Yay, you came back!

Me: Sike!

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?

The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.