Back jokes

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

Me: Hey, I’m your mom.

Orphan: Yay, you came back!

Me: Sike!

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

My grandad and your hairline go way back.

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.

Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.

Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.