My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.
I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
