The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
What does a dead baby look like? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masterbate
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
