Baby

Baby Jokes

Chicken

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

Enemy

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

Bunch

What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?

My dick.

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  • Corner

    What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.

    Bastard

    How do you know your baby is dead?

    It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.

    Tree

    What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?

    1 baby tied to 5 trees.

    Smell

    Babies can spread a nasty smell,

    especially when you haven't fed them for a month.

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  • Wall

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw them.

    Bundle

    Why are babies called bundles of joy?

    When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.

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  • Sandwich

    What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

    I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

    Ligma

    Man says, "What's Ligma?"

    Woman says, "Ligma balls!"

    Baby says nothing, she transgender.

    Box

    What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

    An erection!

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  • Bag

    What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.

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  • Swimming Pool

    How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

    A blender.

    How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.