What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Louie Fennell.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
