Away

Away jokes

Pizza

    • A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

    The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

    Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

    So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

    The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

    The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

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    • Child

    • Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.

    Rape

    • How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

    Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

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    • Bear

    • I was walking in the forest with my gf.

    I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

    A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

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    • Away memes

    Rape

    • How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously

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    • Ghost

    • Person 1: How smart are you?

    Person 2: Really smart.

    Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

    Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

    Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

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    • Halloween

    • I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

    Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

    I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

    When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

  • 0

    • Apple

    • If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

    0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

    Doctor

    • A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

    Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

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    • Brother

    • Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

    And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

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