Astronaut jokes
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!