What is Santa Claus and Bill Cosby having in common? They both come while you’re asleep
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did they would always be falling asleep.
There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Chuck Norris once went to hell. After that the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Why did the car fall asleep Because he was too tyred
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock? Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times
What is bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep? Sing a koala-by.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave? Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jacksdon will get you.
so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger having common
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone
what do you call flapple asleep a napple
