Around jokes
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."