a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
Sonic Can run around the world in a second. In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book...it's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I SH so much, even when i die and become a ghost, you can see red striped floating around the room.
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24hrs, so they just called it a "day".
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Nah c'mon guys we don't let jokes like this fly around here
He is looking for children if you don't know who edp445 is look him up
be careful around edp445
I feel bad for Shopping Carts there allwaze being pushed around
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
