Arms jokes
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.