Ares jokes

Hi, how are you doing?

Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”

The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”

The date is April 1st.

Somebody asks you what you are doing.

“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.

Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.

See, I was always told puns are funny.

But I can see now they aren't punny.

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

Why can't Jordan moan?

Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.

Why are Bengalis so fishy?

Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.

Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.

(Bob holds Deric's neck)

Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"

If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.

If you are a girl--you are allowed to read this.

Look down your shirt and spell attic.

You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.

The female ones are called "bitch."

"Roses are red, I'm a girl, Now go and take a hike."

Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!

Dad: You are one.

How do make an adult cry?

Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.

I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?