Ares jokes
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
Because they cut deep.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.