Ares jokes
"We are trans. We are Gay. We are lesbian. We are Bi."
We Do Not Care.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Like this if you are in foster care.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."