Ares jokes
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
Alle kinder hedder Rune, undtagen Kurt, han hedder Rune.
All the kids are named Rune, except Kurt, he is named Rune.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
There are more than two genders.
Why are some people African?
Because genes, you dummy!
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.