Ares jokes
There are more than 2 genders.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
Jokes are like people. Some don't like the dark ones.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.