Ares jokes
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?