Ares jokes

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

Why are orphans lonely?

Because they don't have parents to talk to.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

Why do orphans live in an orphanage?

Answer: Because they are wanted there.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.

If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?

What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

When I was very young...

My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.

They are rapists now.

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.

Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

Are you an orphanage?

Why?

Because I wanna put my kids in you.

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?

Ariana Grande, where are you?