Ares jokes
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
Roses are red, violets are blue, poetry is gay, and so are you.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"