Ares jokes
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.