Ares jokes
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Why are liberals so bad at playing hockey? Because it is played on ICE
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"