Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ. "My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!!" And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul. WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS And so he did.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.
Tuxedos suit you.
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Your face is a joke.
