Appearance jokes

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!

You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!

You want an insult? Right, look at the mirror.

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."

She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.

Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.