Anti

Anti Jokes

Kid

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

People

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

Pill

Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,

I hope you're fucking happy.

Bud

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

Kid

Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

Dinner

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

Thief

To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.

Dog

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.

Result

Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.

Burger

Why did your friend eat the burger?

Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!

Not really. He was just hungry.

Death

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.