Anti jokes

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,

I hope you're fucking happy.

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.

Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.

Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.

Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"

The man said, "Okay."

Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.

Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.

I don't think jokes are very funny.

Why did your friend eat the burger?

Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!

Not really. He was just hungry.

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.