What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered sex offender.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
Joke.
