ANS jokes
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home! 😂🤣
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.