ANS jokes

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home! 😂🤣

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

What do you call an orphan?

A bootysnagger45.

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.

What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?

Home buttons.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁