ANS jokes
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
What is black and white and red all over?
An interracial abortion.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.