ANS jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is! 🤣
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.