ANS jokes

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.

God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.

There is a twist with being an orphan: every bag of chips is family sized.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.

Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.

A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.

I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

What's a bonus of being an orphan?

You can't get homework.

Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?

Because it's family owned.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it doesn't have a home button.